Midweek Detritus, #1

Every week, I offer up my random findings on the internet. Presented in no particular order. Do not seek edification herein…

From Judge Richard Berman’s decision in NFL v. NFLPA (“Deflategate”). This is an amusing footnote because it has absolutely nothing to do with any legal or factual matter under review. The judge, who is an admitted Patriots fan, just felt like inserting this.

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I love this picture. Taken during the 4th quarter of Oregon’s loss at Michigan State, it came at a point in the game when Oregon was mounting a furious comeback that fell just short. It’s a photo that gets better the more you look at it. From left to right: mad Michigan State fan, Nike founder Phil Knight looking on rather glumly, Oregon’s famous ballboy Kwame Mitchell (the hair), and Oregon’s Samoan contingent all going nuts. Sadly, ’twas not to be.
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Fellas, this is a great lesson: if you get busted, stick with the lie and don’t ever let it go.

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Two less amusing graphics that paint a complicated picture of the effectiveness of affirmative action policies.

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Reminder #9,745 and #9,746 that things weren’t all great in the Good Olde Days:

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I’m not sure there’s any joke I can make here that won’t get me into trouble.  Though, I’m not sure the wife actually reads my blog. RP, if you see this, tell me the password (“Tecmo Super Bowl”) and I’ll buy you something nice…

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White people causing trouble.

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You don’t need to be able to understand Portuguese to figure out the sad truth of this joke. Okay, maybe you do: “If you don’t study, you will end up like him.” “Not true, I am a professor.”10462686_10152472070351147_8876770992063494388_n

There is something kind of amazing about people who take silly things *way* too seriously. This is a screencap of “Mr. Ninja Warrior,” a Ninja Warrior contestant who almost won in Season 1, and then spent the next 20 seasons obsessing with attempting to achieve Total Victory. Sadly, despite leaving his family and quitting his job in order to train fulltime for the event, he never so much as made it back to Mt. Midoriyama. Seeing his estranged wife and children in the crowd cheering him on -hoping that Total Victory would bring him home- was equal parts ridiculous joke and profound human tragedy.

 

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German O-face…germany-victory-parade452179108_10

I’m finna kill somebody for this slander…307319_772679327274_1500161294_n

Hey girl, Ryan Gosling throwing some love to my home county…10525826_10201889686837706_4808659588807779734_n

Suarez proving dispositively that he is not a racist.

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“Never become obsolete.” I feel like cassette tape- based RAM was never allowed to develop fully.

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Fidel Castro should have written a book that was entirely about his conversations with interesting people. Say what you will about him, but the man has had one hell of a life. His autobiography could have been an amazing read.
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Lesson: sometimes, you really should care.
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If you’ve been to Africa, you know that African fashion gives zero fucks:

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This map seems intuitive and explains a great deal:US-PASSPORT-MAP

…but this map doesn’t seem to present a coherent pattern.

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Know thyself… and own it. Big’ups Pervert Dave!10291196_781904475154720_9096912113471877003_n

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